5 Life Lessons from a New Dad

Yesterday was pretty special for me, as it was my first official Father’s Day.

I’ve played a lot of different roles in my life – husband, son, employee, employer, friend, etc., but I’ve got to admit, being a dad to Kendall has been by far the most challenging, for a lot of different reasons.

And to think – she’s only 4.5 months old! What am I going to do when she’s a teenager? 🙂

Regardless, as I sat around yesterday and reflected on how my life has changed, I thought a lot about the things I’m learning (or re-learning), and how being a dad can be related back to training and life in general.

I thought you guys might enjoy them as well, so here are 5 Life Lessons of a New Dad.

New Dad Lesson #1 – Patience is key

Needless to say, patience has never been a strong suit of mine! I’ve always wanted things immediately, if not sooner, and I’m sure most of you reading this can relate.

But what do you do when your tiny, helpless little child is screaming their head off? And you have no clue what’s going on, or how to fix it?

It’s not like they tell you that their tummy hurts, or that they’re just overly tired and need to take a nap!

If you don’t have patience, you’re really going to struggle with this whole parenting thing. I know I did, especially at first.

Just like being patient with your child is important, so it is with your training as well. If you’re constantly bouncing from program-to-program, how will you ever achieve your goals? If you haven’t already, be sure to read last week’s post about Training ADD again and how it’s a sure-fire way to mediocre results.

This applies to life as well. The best things in life are rarely quick-fixes or short term goals; instead, they are the things we apply ourselves to for months or years at a time. The hard work, dedication and patience that goes into setting and achieving goals is probably one of the most rewarding experiences we have in life.

Patience is key, and something that can be applied to all aspects of your life.

New Dad Lesson #2 – STOP! And Be Present

This is something I learned from Dr. Eric Cobb several years ago, and it rings true again here.

Many of us (myself included) have a tendency to focus on one of two “times” in our life: The past or the future.

I, personally, am future focused. I’m always thinking about the next big project, seminar, or life goal that I want to accomplish.

But then I started thinking – how is that any way to live life?

Here I am, surrounded by amazing people in all aspects of my life (work, family, and friends), and I’m always focused on the future?

Having Kendall really flipped the script for me in this regard.

Am I still goal focused and oriented? Yes, absolutely. This is in my DNA and will not change.

But, I can make a concerted effort to stop and be present.

To realize that my baby girl will never be this age again, and I don’t get any do-over’s for this particular day in her life.

Doing this allows me to slow down and enjoy the present moment at hand. The future will still be there, and I’ll still achieve everything I want.  I’ll just enjoy the journey a lot more by being present along the way.

New Dad Lesson #3 – Focus on the BIG stuff

When you have a child, it’s amazing how you start hacking away the unessential. I’ll expand on this more in my next point, but I’ll get started here.

When you have a child, I don’t care how organized you are, you simply can’t do as much as you could before, at least in the beginning.

To compensate, you need to focus on the big stuff. If we’re waxing philosophical and busting out Pareto’s principle, it’s all about spending the most time on the 20% of items that net us 80% of the results.

If you’re hitting the gym, you better focus on the big lifts – squats, deads, pull-ups, bench presses, military presses and rows.

In life, you need to focus on the most important stuff – the stuff that’s going to make the biggest difference in your day.  The easiest way to do this is to ask yourself one simple question:

“If I can only do one thing today, what would it be?”

Once you have that answer, you know quite clearly the task at hand.

Another pro tip that I use is to take 30-minutes or so on Sunday and perform a brain dump. Get everything out of your head that you’d like to accomplish for that week, and get it on paper.

Then, take that big list and pare it down to a daily to-do list. This way you have a focused game plan for each and every day, and know exactly what you want to accomplish.

But remember, it’s all about the big stuff – don’t let little stuff get in the way and bog you down!

New Dad Lesson #4 – Get Militant with Your Time

If any of you reading this have children, you know what I’m talking about in the sentence below:

All of a sudden, you realize how much free time you had before – and how little you have now!

As a result, I’ve become absolutely militant with my time. In fact, one of the few things that ever makes me angry is when I feel like someone has wasted my time.

How have I applied this to my own life, you might be wondering?

Easy – I’ve tried to put a dollar figure on what an hour of my time is worth. Guys like Alwyn Cosgrove and Pat Rigsby have compelled me for years to do this, and having Kendall was the final push I needed to make it a reality.

So right now I know exactly what I’m worth for every hour that I work. And if I’m not doing something that fits into that dollar amount, I either need to delegate it out to someone else, find a way to make it worth my time, or forget about it all together.

Taken a step further, here’s the trade-off we all have to make – if you’re doing A, how is that taking away from B?

In other words, if I’m answering e-mails from random people I don’t know, or arguing with an Internet expert on a training forum, that’s taking away time I could be spending working on paid projects, training myself, expanding IFAST, or spending time with my wife and daughter.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still have my delusions of grandeur. I still want to save the world and help as many people as possible. Again, that’s part of who I am and it will never change.

But what I’ve started to really focus on is leveraging my work related time. If a lot of people can’t benefit from my work (in the form of a blog post, DVD, manual, seminar, etc.), chances are I’m not going to be spending much time on it going forward.

New Dad Lesson #5 – Training is still VERY important

At the end of the day, I’m still a meathead in mind, body and spirit.

Training is something that I do for me. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about my training, my goals, or aspirations.

That’s why I love training – not only does it make me feel good, but I can take the lessons learned from the iron and apply them to all aspects of my life.

As I discussed while filming my portion of the “Fitness Business Blueprint,” taking care of me is important in the grand scheme with regards to balance.

Work, and my professional life, is obviously a key component of who I am.

My family, specifically my wife and daughter, are critical as well. They are my backbone.

But I think sometimes, as crazy as it may sound, we forget to take care of ourselves! We forget to do the things that we enjoy, or that enrich us and make us better human beings.

For me, training or listening to music are things that make me a better person. And when I feel good about myself, that will carry over to all aspects of my life – including my work and family.

So I would implore you to take care of yourself. Maybe you don’t have the time to do 3-4 workouts per week, or take 2-2.5 hours at the gym.

But do something!

One of the best investments I ever made was picking up to kettlebells from Perform Better to store in my basement.

When Kendall was a newborn I didn’t have time to get to the gym – but I could always find 15-30 minutes to knock out a few rounds of swings, Goblet squats, Turkish-get ups, and windmills.

Summary

Saturday night, Kendall laughed for the first time.

And it wasn’t one of those half-chuckles or smirks that all babies have when they’re young.  This was a full-on belly laugh, squeals and all. And I can tell you it was probably one of the single most joyous moments of my entire life.

Being a parent is the single most challenging thing I’ve ever done in my life.

But in that same breath, I can also tell you it’s no-doubt the most rewarding as well.

I sincerely hope you find some of the above useful, and if you employ some of the tactics I outlined, I guarantee you’ll be rewarded with a more successful and enriched life.

All the best

MR

(Lead Photo Courtesy of Jamie Sangar photography)


Back to All Posts